Knowledge vs Belief

Snow in Praxis Pasture

"Who do you say that I am?" This question asked by Jesus of His disciples (Matt 16:15) has been haunting me as of late. It is a question that requires an answer, but to answer it is more than just to be able to come up with the right answer. If all it required of me was to know the right answer, the question would be worded completely different. But Jesus didn't ask "who does the bible say that I am?" He asked His disciples the question that would mark where they were at in their relationship with the uncreated God. He sets them up, too, so that there isn't any doubt about what He is actually asking. The first question Jesus asks in this particular teaching is: "who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?" And the crazy thing about this is that He tells them who He is while asking them what others are saying about Him. So when He asks that second question, you again can note that He isn't looking for the "right answer" about who He is. He is asking His disciples to go deeper than knowing things about Him and having head knowledge about who He, the Son of Man, is, He is asking them who deep down they truly believe that He is. And I believe He is asking us the same thing, that we would go beyond being able to answer the question in some sort of doctrinally correct way and to really get to the heart of what we know about this man Jesus and how it affects the way in which we live.

And that last part, "how it affects the way in which we live," is the important part. Jesus isn't looking for a people who know all the correct answers, He's looking for people who have been so touched by that truth that their lives are lived differently because of it. This is the difference between mere knowledge and full-fledged belief, and this is the thing that has gripped my soul, especially over these last few weeks. I have noticed this discrepancy between what I know to be true and what I belief to be true before, but now I have hit a point where I am becoming desperate to get rid of that gap. How much differently would I live if I would only just believe the promises that the Lord has given me through His word? My life would completely change. There would be no walking in fear of where the money to pay the rent or to pay the bills is going to come from, because right in Matt 6 He promises that if I only "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things will be added to" me (v 33). My life would then be focused completely on advancing God's kingdom and living in it in the way He intended and the only thought I would give to the provision of my needs is gratitude that He has provided them.

This can be taken out of context, so don't get me wrong. God calls us to work hard, He calls us as men to be providers for ourselves and eventually (I'm hoping, at least) for our families. This is very evident from a multitude of scriptures, and from our own sense of conscience. But kingdom living, the thing that Jesus spoke about the most when He was on the earth, is God centered, and when God is in control our needs will be met, and the reason these types of clarifications need to be met is that we don't believe that God's plan is what is best for us. I'm tired of having to make that clarification to myself when I make statements of focusing on God's will and not my provisions. If I truly believe that what God has planned for my life is what is best for my life, then this type of clarification would become completely redundant because it would simply be assumed that God's best, God's plan, includes my physical needs being met.

I want to live in the fullness of God's kingdom, which is completely immersion in His will. I want to seek after that and pursue that with every fiber of my being. It will be hard work, it will be stretching, and it will force me to actually deal with my sin, it's roots, and to actually break away from that, but that's the life I am promised throughout so much of the scriptures. I refuse to be satisfied by anything less than God's best. I want the life that God created me for, and that will require that get back to the question at hand, "who do you say that I am?" I am coming to terms with the fact that who I actually believe Him to be and who I know Him to be are different, but now that that is admitted, I can address it and work, with the grace and power of God, to the place where I believe what the bible says and what God has spoken to me. Thank you Jesus for Your mercy and Your grace, and I know that this will be a long journey, but I am ready to start on a path that will bring me into a true, experiential knowledge of who You are!